Genesis 2: 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. A man and a woman in a relationship are meant to be transparent with each other and much more as intended by God. They were naked, yet felt no shame I believe because sin had not yet come between them. The childlike innocence of a child is evidenced here, man and woman living in the garden of love, beautifully endowed with all they could ever need in the presence of God without inhibition. And then it happened – The Fall!
The fall with its attending consequence brought evil into the world and all things became difficult, even truth and transparency in relationships. The lack of truth and trust in our interaction with each other sometime spills over into marriage relationship. Many go into marriage with motives less than honorable, many with convoluted ideas of marriage, fundamentally wrong and leave their spouses gasping for air when reality set in – truth is revealed.
In some relationship, a partner, depending on upbringing and a number of factors may not be able to express themselves. Some for the fear of rejection withheld tangible information from their spouses, and the fear also of been taken advantage of, and others may have been taught to not be overly honest in dealing with anyone, especially the opposite sex and this is carried into their marriage.
Some years back, a friend of mine, a Law student at the time told me to make sure that my assets gotten before marriage remains in my maiden name, and she gave me all sorts of advice. In today’s terms it would be like a prenuptial agreement I guess.
I was curious and asked her where this “wisdom” was coming from. I assumed, being a law student, maybe she is been taught marriage law or whatever it is called. However, I was surprised when she told me yes, but not that alone. It was the lessons learned in her own family.
My friend’s mother who is in a monogamous relationship collects money from my friend’s father monthly, for the upkeep of the whole family. Each month she will demand money for a bag of rice, which my friend said last them for about three month or more. My friend queried her mother and what she was told was that, ” you have to be smart with men, don’t tell them everything and in every which way you can take from them do so!”.
She said the extra money received monthly was what her mother used to buy a piece of land and started building, which at the time my friend and I were having this conversation was at the roofing stage and the husband, my friends dad still do not know.
The environment we live in, our belief system, and experiences has a huge influence on how transparent we are or will be with our spouses and others generally.
As Christians, regardless of our upbringing and experiences we can make up our minds to be truthful and transparent with our spouses as God demands of us. We truly cannot bond, soul and spirit without transparency on both sides. Though, our bodies bond, we are more than just this body. A house built on untruth will one day collapse for an adage says ” if lie takes a journey, twenty years ahead of truth, one day, one day, truth will meet lie on the road and will overtake it” Another says, ” twenty year old pounded yam or mashed potato can still scald one’s hand”. Its meaning simply is that every lie will be found out no matter how long it’s been told – Matthew 10:26, Luke 8:17 Live a life of integrity!
Your life might be the only bible someone might get to read! What do you want them to read? Truth, love, compassion and integrity? Forsake untruth today! Seek the truth of the word of God, meditate in it day and night.
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More to come!!!
Jesus is Lord!!!
Shalom! Shalom! Shalom!